The Story

How did this all begin? Why am I getting a divorce? This part of the story sucks, but I hope it will put any future psychoses into perspective, so here goes nothing. I'm going to write about something happy immediately following this. :P

I have/had been with the man I married for 9 years, quickly approaching 10. We had been married for almost 4 years. His job moved him to Korea and I followed. I wrote a really fun blog while I was over there:  Kim's Korea

4 months into a 3 year assignment, he tells me that he hasn't loved me for years, he's in love with another girl (a girl I thought was my friend) and that he wants a divorce.

That's the extremely condensed non-sappy version of what happened, and even that's hard to tell. That was a month ago.

He didn't want to work it out or try to save our marriage, but he still wanted to be friends. And my god, in the 2.5 weeks it took me to get out of Korea and away from him texting his girlfriend, it was like he kept tricking me. It was so easy to fall into the easy rapport of long-time friends, laughing and joking about stupid stuff. I wanted to keep reminding myself that he was cheating on me, that he had lied to me for months (years if you counted that he said he hadn't loved me for years), but all I wanted to do was pretend like nothing had happened.

So I finally got out of Korea, I've been back in the US for 2 weeks. My instinct is to move on as quickly as possible, so that's what I'm trying to do.

I tend to suppress. I can feel myself swallowing emotions that I don't want to confront, which I know is not healthy. Maybe this blog will be one way of confronting those emotions. Oooooorrrr, maybe I should see a therapist. When I'm on my own insurance again, I'll look into how expensive that is. In the meantime, I'll just have to deal on my own. Cry a little more at movies and TV then is appropriate, and otherwise try not to dwell on it.

OK, that was the depressing story that begins this blog. Now we can move on to the recovery part.