Love vs Drama

I realize, as I write this, ok maybe a little before I write this.... that I only write bad things about boy2 on here. It goes back to only wanting to write on this blog when I'm unhappy. So the goal of this blog post is, after complaining, I will list some of the reasons I'm in love with boy2.

But first to get rid of the Drama.

I teased boy2 about the boyfriend girlfriend thing again. I really don't know why I do this. I don't actually care that much about the boyfriend/girlfriend title. Except in terms the public acknowledgment that the titles represent. On that note, I don't know how much public acknowledgement I want to do, you know? What does that mean? Facebook official? Eugh. But I want him to want me to publicly acknowledge him, and I want him to want to publicly acknowledge me. (As a friend put it, I want him to want to scream it from the mountaintops.)

Feelings are complicated.

Ok, back to the story. So I teased him, and it got uncomfortable quick. He said something along the lines of, "I love you, you are the girlfriend without the title. Can we just leave it at that? Assigning titles just fucks stuff up. Things are so great right now."

Yeah, I was upset. I asked him why it would fuck things up and he asked me not to push it. Really?? So I didn't talk to him yesterday. Not really, anyway. And I drank, a lot. But apparently my being upset made him upset enough that he drank on Saturday night. I call this a good sign. Why is it a good sign if he's upset? Because it means he cares. Ok, that sounds crazy girl. It might be crazy girl. But seriously, don't push it??

We've talked a couple times this morning. He's hung over (right now, as I'm writing this.) I explained that I was upset because he won't talk to me about his previous relationships and he said he didn't see why he should and I said "because it's affecting us! There's obviously a reason you think calling me your girlfriend is going to fuck things up and it's not fair to not talk about it if I ask." There was a long pause, and he said "Touche".

I dropped it. I'll bring it back up later, and maybe I'll even write about it. I'm sure we'll resolve things this time. How do I end up with guys who are almost as fucked up as I am. That doesn't seem fair, I deserve a guy that's steady and can handle my crazy girl moments, they're gonna happen, see above for reference.

Still, you get to be my age, and everyone has baggage. And we're finding out each others as we go along. I mean, I was happy he was unhappy today. That's pretty messed up. Thank you, How I Met Your Mother. That show is full of life lessons.

As promised, things I love about boy2.

• Talking. I have never wanted to talk to a guy so much or so often. On the phone! I don't like talking to my best friends on the phone. Seriously, only person I've ever wanted to talk to on the phone.
• He tells me he loves me all the time.
• He tells me I'm beautiful and cute and smart and wonderful.
• His taste in movies and TV shows is pretty awesome.
• He kinda likes my cat, despite being severely allergic to her.
• He makes me laugh.
• We eat muffins the same way (gotta eat the top off first).  ;)
• He told me I'm even cute when I whine (lol!!!)
• He's cute, and a little cocky, in a kinda self-conscious way, which I find endearing.
• He told me Thank You for making him try new things. 
• He's dependable and reliable.
• He makes me feel wanted and loved.

So, yeah, I'm upset about the boyfriend/girlfriend title thing. But for now, I'm ok. We'll either work it out or it will build up, ball up, with a whole bunch of other things that will eventually lead to a breakup. I hope it doesn't come to that. I love him. :)