Where I stand a week later

Still in love. Feeling less panicky about it, a little more resentful of being in love.

Why? Because all those reasons I listed before for not being in love still apply! (Except for the sex one, he's really stepped it up recently.)

Not only that, but here's some more.

1. Am I the only one who doesn't see boy2 as "the other guy"?? It's not like I wear my wedding ring. I turned in all the paperwork and so has the Ex, we can't go back now. In a couple weeks I'll have a certificate in my hand saying "Congratz! You're no longer part of a married couple!" Not only that, but I've been divorced in my heart since maybe 6 weeks after finding out originally. Sure I still have the occasional break-down, which others could interpret as me missing my spouse. And to some extent, they're right. I miss living with someone, depending on someone, having a partner, the life and future we had planned. I'm still grieving that a little. But not the partner himself.
1. Side note: today, after turning in the final paperwork, I felt so free. I can almost feel friendly towards the Ex. Not in a way like I would ever want to be with him again. But like I could, probably, see him at a group function and not want to tear his eyes out. So what he's a dick? We're settling everything fairly and I'm happy. For the past two days I've been genuinely joyful. Maybe it's being in love again. Maybe it's just the almost freedom of turning in that paperwork, but I feel great. And I feel like his presence couldn't affect me. I don't know if I'd like to test this yet, but it's a good feeling to have.
2. Boy2 has major temper issues. He almost took one of my friends (I'll admit, said friend fits into Socially Awkward Penguin perfectly, and said something pretty insulting. Actually, here's a perfect Socially Awkward Penguin for the situation, see below... There's something to be said for being able to take things in stride though.) out back and gave him a beating after an unfortunate comment with unfortunate timing. 

Definitely wrong person to make this joke too. >.<

So now I realize that all my friends are really abrasive. I can't help it, I like sarcasm, stupid jokes and a little condescension so I don't feel bad when I do it back. And I can be downright mean. So what does this mean? Now, not only am I afraid to introduce boy2 for fear he'll decide to beat one of my friends up (and with a few exceptions, Nita's hubby, some of my college friends, he could probably take them pretty easily), I'm afraid my friends are jerks and any future guys I date won't be able to stand up to them. But I wouldn't want to be friends with a bunch of saps, how boring!! Ahh, brain aneurysm!

On a totally different note, my new, fancy, $200 (that only cost me $100 because it was on sale) keyboard arrived today. It's so awesome! I wanted to game on it all night, and what did I do? I ended up blogging instead. On 2 different blogs. Sigh. Sometimes I'm such an idiot.