This is my final conclusion... this is what I have determined... I’m not crazy, I really am not. You see, my job was to find control failures, determine the cause, then provide solutions. That’s what I do, that’s how I work. So I can’t let go, I can’t let go until I provide my ‘report.’ With the lack of closure you’ve given me, I’ve had to do it on my own... This is what I have determined.. This is a way for me to, hopefully, move on from you.
I’m still calling bull shit on the fact that I sarcastic and non-seriousness and you couldn’t handle that. I am very light hearted most of the time, true, but not always. What I believe is really the problem, the fact you’ve never been with and strong and independent woman before. This may come off mean or rude, but I honestly believe that I made you analyze yourself because I was the first one to stand up to you. I might have intimidated you. You might not have realized that is what is happening, but I don’t think you are as confident as you perceive yourself to be. Instead of having a conversation about it and working with me, you walked away. Which still baffles my mind. I also believe that being in a relationship with me might make you nervous. Look at the people you surround yourself with. They need something from you. You fulfill a need for them and you know your place in their life. Look at where you were in my life, you weren’t needed, you were wanted. You. Were. Wanted. Wouldn’t you rather be wanted than needed? Isn’t that what you told me? But back to the original point of your insecurities, I believe that was the root of our issues. I know I’m secure in myself, which when you would make comments, they wouldn’t bother me. However, I can see now, how they affected you. I wish I wouldn’t have believed you were so secure with yourself. When talking with a friend the other day about this issue, I explained to her that if I had a problem with one of your qualities that I would have a. discussed it with you b. not even brought it up. I thought I had explained that to you. But you obviously didn’t believe me. She agreed, she agreed that it is exactly how I am, because I’m not one to try to make people uncomfortable. I think you were ridiculous.
Maybe what hurts me the most in this whole situation is knowing that you don’t even miss me. That you don’t even care. When you’ve obviously meant something to me.
There is a part of me that is sad for you. It’s sad because you don’t even realize what you are missing out because you never gave it a chance. You judged me before you got to know me. What also hurts a bit is that you were the one who always said you hated when people brought past relationships into the present. Is that not what you did? Didn’t you Judge me? Didn’t you assume that I was the same as the others? I expected more from you. I did. I just hope that you can look at what happened between us and learn from it. If you don’t realize your faults, you’ll never find what you are looking for. You will never find your happiness. That is sad to me.
What I’ve learned from this. I learned that I’m a woman that is going to take a strong and confident man to love me. I learned that I can love again and that I do want to marry someone again. I learned that every time I date a guy, I keep choosing a guy closer and closer to who I want to be with. I learned that I am a woman worth being with, even if you don’t agree. I learned that I cannot wait to meet the guy for me, because I know the best days of my life have not even happened yet.
BTW - Can I have my lady bug back that I left in your truck?
Thanks,
A damn good woman
P.S. My favorite quote:
It’s not okay that you hurt me, but I am okay. I deserve more, and I know that now. And maybe you knew that inside, that you couldn’t give me that yet. So you set me free. We would’ve been so great, you would never have wished for more than I would’ve given you. But you never gave it a chance. So now you’ll never know what could’ve been. Maybe someday you’ll regret it, maybe someday you’ll think it was the best decision you ever made, but maybe someday you’ll see me walking, smiling and happy, alongside someone who’s also smiling and happy because he has my heart. Maybe then you’ll stop and realize what you’re missing, because someday, someone is going to thank you for letting me go…
I’m still calling bull shit on the fact that I sarcastic and non-seriousness and you couldn’t handle that. I am very light hearted most of the time, true, but not always. What I believe is really the problem, the fact you’ve never been with and strong and independent woman before. This may come off mean or rude, but I honestly believe that I made you analyze yourself because I was the first one to stand up to you. I might have intimidated you. You might not have realized that is what is happening, but I don’t think you are as confident as you perceive yourself to be. Instead of having a conversation about it and working with me, you walked away. Which still baffles my mind. I also believe that being in a relationship with me might make you nervous. Look at the people you surround yourself with. They need something from you. You fulfill a need for them and you know your place in their life. Look at where you were in my life, you weren’t needed, you were wanted. You. Were. Wanted. Wouldn’t you rather be wanted than needed? Isn’t that what you told me? But back to the original point of your insecurities, I believe that was the root of our issues. I know I’m secure in myself, which when you would make comments, they wouldn’t bother me. However, I can see now, how they affected you. I wish I wouldn’t have believed you were so secure with yourself. When talking with a friend the other day about this issue, I explained to her that if I had a problem with one of your qualities that I would have a. discussed it with you b. not even brought it up. I thought I had explained that to you. But you obviously didn’t believe me. She agreed, she agreed that it is exactly how I am, because I’m not one to try to make people uncomfortable. I think you were ridiculous.
Maybe what hurts me the most in this whole situation is knowing that you don’t even miss me. That you don’t even care. When you’ve obviously meant something to me.
There is a part of me that is sad for you. It’s sad because you don’t even realize what you are missing out because you never gave it a chance. You judged me before you got to know me. What also hurts a bit is that you were the one who always said you hated when people brought past relationships into the present. Is that not what you did? Didn’t you Judge me? Didn’t you assume that I was the same as the others? I expected more from you. I did. I just hope that you can look at what happened between us and learn from it. If you don’t realize your faults, you’ll never find what you are looking for. You will never find your happiness. That is sad to me.
What I’ve learned from this. I learned that I’m a woman that is going to take a strong and confident man to love me. I learned that I can love again and that I do want to marry someone again. I learned that every time I date a guy, I keep choosing a guy closer and closer to who I want to be with. I learned that I am a woman worth being with, even if you don’t agree. I learned that I cannot wait to meet the guy for me, because I know the best days of my life have not even happened yet.
BTW - Can I have my lady bug back that I left in your truck?
Thanks,
A damn good woman
P.S. My favorite quote:
It’s not okay that you hurt me, but I am okay. I deserve more, and I know that now. And maybe you knew that inside, that you couldn’t give me that yet. So you set me free. We would’ve been so great, you would never have wished for more than I would’ve given you. But you never gave it a chance. So now you’ll never know what could’ve been. Maybe someday you’ll regret it, maybe someday you’ll think it was the best decision you ever made, but maybe someday you’ll see me walking, smiling and happy, alongside someone who’s also smiling and happy because he has my heart. Maybe then you’ll stop and realize what you’re missing, because someday, someone is going to thank you for letting me go…
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