The Weekend of Dates: Dates 2 & 3

Date 2: Didn't happen yet! lol. The guy from the bar cancelled saying he had to work last minute and asking if we could meet up at D's again on Monday. I said sure. I'm cool with this, I'd rather it be more casual anyway. :P

Date 3: I just got back from it. The guy was really nice, there was just no spark at all. I could tell he was one of those guys who would bend over backwards and do anything I want. Which I, unfortunately, find very unattractive. I like some backbone in a guy.

Plus, I kept thinking about boy2. How much more fun I'd be having if I was on a date with him. Wondering how he was doing (since he was planning on drinking heavily last night with an old buddy and not planning on calling me until later today). Thinking about how much more I liked boy2 then this new guy.

Yep, not seeing new guy again.

I'm a little worried that I might be leaning more towards the big L word with boy2.... and I really don't think I'm ready for that. So are you ready for some awesome denial? Cause here it comes.

Reasons I can't be the big L word with boy2:

• I'm still not a huge fan of sex with him! (The shrink promises this is trainable, but I have serious doubts) It's not that I'm not sexually attracted to him. I get all tingly when we kiss. But sex with him is boring and unimaginative. I get off, but it's the same way every-time. Also, I don't feel like he enjoys sex with me all that much. :(
• He has an epic temper. It's never been directed at me, but I saw it in action a week ago, and it's something.
• He makes me feel nerdy. Ok, this one's hard to describe. It's really that sometimes he makes me feel self-conscious about being nerdy. I don't know if this is really him though or I'm projecting. Apparently I do this a lot. If I don't know exactly how a person will respond, I assume a bad trait from my ex. >.<;; Can't help it. I can't even tell when I'm doing it most the time.
• I still text with boy1. Though it's become less and less and I haven't slept with him for a couple weeks now. I still think boy1 is the best sex I've ever had and sometimes think about having sex with him. But there's usually a reason not to. I'm tired or there's something else to do, or I just don't want to. Sometimes I think about boy2 and just don't want to.
• Boy2 is adamantly against cruises. I love cruises!!! (He thinks he would be seasick.) Though I thought he was against traveling with me, but the other night he said he would go to the Great Barrier Reef with me when I wistfully stated I really wanted to go there. He's still really against cruises though. I wonder if I could coax him onto a 3 day cruise with me to prove that you can't feel the boat move...
• I worry that boy2 will not get along well with my friends. I have a wide variety of friends and they are my family. I won't tolerate someone being an asshole to any of them.
• He's a lot better at hinting and taking hints than I am. This isn't really a detriment except that I feel he might be getting totally different signals from me then I think I'm giving because I miss his hints. I am not good at picking up hints. Please just tell me what you want!

Definitely not the big L word. Definitely.