I was going to write about something else today (I had the whole plan worked out and everything), but due to some conversations this weekend, I decided to do some clarification.
As embarrassing as it is to admit, I'm pretty sure everybody who's been cheated on has given that person a second chance. You tell yourself you love them and if they'd only choose you, you'd be able to forgive them.
I did this. I gave him a week to change his mind. He didn't. In retrospect, I'm glad. Because this is what would've happened if he had chosen me. I would have worked really hard to forgive him, but I never would have been able to trust him ever again. We would have gone to counseling and years down the road we would've gotten a divorce anyway. It would have been even more bitter and angry then it is now too.
So, if you did this. Don't feel guilty and stupid. (Or at least, keep telling yourself not to feel guilty and stupid.) It was your heart yearning for things to go back to before you knew anything. Just realize it wouldn't have worked anyway.
And if the looks of shock your friends give you, at hearing that you had low enough self-esteem at the time to do this, hurts... Just remember, none of them have gone through this, they don't know.
I kept thinking about this after the number of times we said it last weekend. I'm glad I randomly looked at your blog and saw this. Your last paragraph is exactly right. The reason none of us can imagine how we would feel/act is because we've never been in that situation. You are one of the strongest, smartest women I know and I'm positive you know what is best for you ; )
ReplyDeleteIf I could "like" your comment I would. Thanks Sweetheart. :)
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