Ripple Effect

I was thinking this morning about the instances recently where I've noticed different behavior in couples that my ex and I were/are very close to.

It sounds egotistic even egocentric to say that I think my divorce... and everything about the story is affecting everyone around me. I'll admit, not everyone. However, I notice that good friends in relationships, who have never questioned that relationship, have been doing some really strange stuff recently.

I also think the fact that I'm noticing this is a sign of how much they are being affected. I'm really self-absorbed lately. :)

Examples? The biggest one I can think of, is a couple weeks ago. We had a girls night. This girl, we'll call her V. V has a husband of several years, and always seems happy and content in her relationship. On this girls night though, we all get really really drunk. V ends up making out with a random guy and going home with him! She swears she didn't sleep with him, she just passed out on his couch. I was really drunk and distracted at the time (making out with my own guy, thank you very much), otherwise I probably would have tried to rein her in, as a good friend, knowing she would regret what she was doing. But since I didn't notice....

Why do I connect this with me? Since the separation with my ex, I hadn't really talked to V before that evening, and I remember her seeming really affected by what I was saying, like things were sinking home with her. I think V felt the urge to test her boundaries and feelings about her own relationship after hearing about mine.  I also don't malign all men as evil or anything when I tell my story, so it's not like I said anything like "You guys should get out of your relationships cause all men suck."  Opposite in fact, I look forward to the day I fall in love again and find a guy that I want to try all over again with. So I don't feel guilty about this... it's not my fault she has doubts, (I do feel a little guilty about not noticing she was leaving with a random guy... there's a reason guys do the split and conquer with girl groups. We stick together and take care of each other when we're out... except if we get distracted.) it's just a very blatant example of something I've been noticing with couples I'm close to.

I'm also the first out of any of my friends to get a divorce. I don't know anyone else who is/has in my group of friends. I know one girl at work, we've become really good friends lately, btw. I think it's like a shock to the group dynamic. Everyone feels rocked by it to some degree and some are actually changing behaviors or doing stupid stuff like above.

I should probably conclude the story by telling you that V and her husband are doing ok. They had a huge fight where she was kicked out of the house for a while. I believe she's also not allowed to drink without him for a while too. Despite her indiscretion, they seem to have worked it out to their satisfaction. Good for them.

On the selfish side of things, it makes me wonder what the next unsettling thing to happen will be. Stuff like this seriously disturbs my peace of mind. (Didn't want you to think I wasn't self-absorbed and egocentric after all that.)