10 minutes...

I'm done with all the work I'm going to get done on this, the day before Turkey day. (hahahaha, sorry)

I'm feeling a little slap happy and decided I wanted to write. But I don't have a topic in mind and I only have 10 minutes before I leave to catch my bus. I would like to say to freedom, but I will probably be working this weekend..... or not, I don't think anyone else is. We'll see how much alcohol it takes to convince me that I don't need to work this weekend.

I haven't talked to boy1 for days. I find that except for the occasional pang, of genuine missing him, I'm ok with this. I'm seeing boy2 tonight, I'm excited about that. I like him more and more everyday, but when I stand back and evaluate, I'm still not in love and I don't want to settle this time around, I saw what happened last time. So why when I with him do I feel absolutely thrilled?

I have to say he's just fulfilling a lot of needs right now. Will I be able to stand strong and be honest if he starts pushing for more? That I don't want to be in more of a relationship with him? The shrink and other friends have convinced me that it's alright to ride things out as long as I want to.

What am I going to say if he says I love you? Part of me loves parts of him. And I say I love you to friends all the time. In fact, it's taken pure will power alone not to say "love you!" as part of my good-bye to him. I don't want to give him the wrong impression by accident.

I told boy1 I loved him, after he said it to me, I felt pressured. And I did/do love parts of him too. Like the sex. ;) lol. Ok and some other things. But still, I'm really working on not saying it inappropriately.

Oops, 10 minutes is up. Till next time! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!