In the back of my head

In the back of my head, I know and acknowledge a lot of things.

I know that the frequency I've been drinking is unhealthy.
I know that I'm exercising, going on dates, and having sex as a form of validation that I'm still an attractive, interesting person whom guys want to spend time with.
I know that while I'm over the Ex, I'm not over the life we were supposed to have together.
I know I'm not ready for a real relationship yet.
I have enough angst in my life right now, that I'm not too enthused about experiencing any more of it in movie or book format. (Sorry, no "Twilight" for me, BFF. Even if I didn't think it was some of the... well, I'll leave that rant out of here.)


I also know that:

While some days may be worse than others. In general, I am feeling better as time goes on.
Eventually I'll get the hang of this dating thing. And maybe even get up the courage to perform an actual break-up.
Music has become much more important to me lately, and makes me feel wonderful.
I'm getting more used to "alone time". It's not very often. An hour here and there. And then I'm anxious to be in the company of people again.
          Quick Explanation: I have never, ever been alone. I went from living with my parents, to college    dorms, to my relationship with the Ex, to living in a sorority house, to moving to Pittsburgh to be with the Ex. I've been trying to remember what it felt like in high-school to want to be alone.


While I talk with the shrink about some of this stuff, on this blog is where I really take the time to evaluate myself. Introspection and such. Everyday I feel like a different person than I was yesterday. I try to self-evaluate and learn about this new person, but some days it's too much. Some days I just have to get my work done, and then let my brain relax. Besides, I might change my mind tomorrow.